At the bridge of the failed painter, I stoop and check the sagging timbers before placing one foot, then the other, on this sorry decrepitude. It cracks and pops like a first fleet ship, but the sounds are not ominous; more the rattled wheezing of an invalid friend. I proceed with care,sucking the thumb pricked on its splintery balustrade. Ahead, lies the gate and welltrod path and, branching like spider veins, the merest hints of tracks―overgrown, leading to a wilderness filled with possibilities. I stand and consider. Buttoning my duffel coat—a veteran of the moth wars, I step off the path, and into the weeds.
©L.M.Noonan



life block

Is it wise to give a dark nameless fear a name?
I followed a link on Lee's blog and found a near perfect description and name for my present state.

"one Monday afternoon I lost my mind. I could not stop crying. I was extremely angry. Everything that I thought I knew, every goal I thought I had, every relationship in which I believed, was thrown into crisis. Everything that had been easy for me became hard. It was as if I had walked off a precipice, and for six months or more I was in a continual state of falling. I was experiencing what might be called, among other things, radical doubt."

Meanwhile I'll keep on doing the little things--the displacement activities--until I get to know this newly named fear. Maybe we'll become fast friends.
                                                                             ©-l.m.noonan-2008

4 comments:

JafaBrit's Art said...

Just reading is scary but I wonder if it is a phase one has to go through in order to have a rebirth artistically???????

I can't say my mood has been anywhere near this, but I have hit the "fuck it" mode. I haven't got a clue what I am doing, and I kind of don't care.

18 February 2009 11:08 PM
JafaBrit's Art said...

Now I am curious about your displacement activities?

18 February 2009 11:09 PM
Colette Amelia said...

is it fear that drives us and finally takes us to where we need to be?

I love the tie creativity and I love how Yi's jacket turned out. I am staggered by the talent and ingeniusness of you and yours.

Now me my fear just wants me to go running far and away.

19 February 2009 3:57 AM
L.M.Noonan said...

It's really hard to remain optimistic about what we do. Hard times are goming...especially for artists. Even my rock -Fong; is less optimistic than he's ever been. As for how I'm filling in my spare time,well moving the studio clutter from one end to the other, making endless to do lists and not starting any. What can I say?
That crazy vehicle called 'fear' is careering all over the place and I'm not sure if I want to go where I need to be. As for far and away...anywhere but here sounds ok to me.

22 February 2009 6:30 PM

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